Just expect
Asking God to do great things this month
“August is a hinge month. It’s like a second new year’s eve, holding it’s breath for an exhale in September.”
This was the strangely poetic statement I found myself saying out loud to a friend at lunch (he called it poetic, I later edited with strangely).
I’ve spent most of my life ruled by an academic calendar, with 10 months of the year focused on work and study. The two months of summer used to feel so long. As I get older, I find myself asking every day where the time has gone.
The ‘exhale in September’ that I refer to is the hustle and bustle of another new (academic) year, which seems to carry over now that I’m adult. People come back from vacation with new tans and some semblance of refreshment. Programs resume and work seems to take off at a new, exhilarating pace.
But August has always been slow, almost lazy. It comes quietly, and always surprises me. And slowly, over the course of 31 days, there seems to be a shedding, a metamorphosis. It’s a preparation for things to come.
Looking ahead to this August, I was inspired by the same above friend to try and be more intentional with each month and see where the Lord wants me to grow.
As I spent time in front of the Blessed Sacrament yesterday, I felt the Lord place the word expect on my heart. This was odd. It didn’t show up in any of the daily readings or the exceprt from yesterday’s Office of Readings from St. Alphonsus of Liguori (which you need to read, it’s beautiful!)
I sat with the word for a bit. It disturbed me a bit, but maybe because I have a weird relationship with the word. When I think of expect, my mind instantly went to entitlement. I know they’re not one in the same, but I pictured myself standing in front of the Lord, young and bratty, demanding good things. Asking for things to go right. Expecting greatness.
But in an instant, God showed me her opposite — who I sometimes am in prayer: timid, shy, and not actually asking. To be clear, I think a lot of things. I desire for things to go a certain way and/or my way. The thing is, it’s never vocalized. And while God knows what I need or want even before I say it, He wants me to bring things to Him. What child doesn’t bring their desires to their loving parent?
Expect, He said.
Expect what? I asked.
Just expect, He responded.
St. Teresa of Avila is attributed to have said the following: “You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him.” God can and will do great things, according to His will for our lives, if we let Him. It’s not to say that His power is barred by whether or not we give permission, but out of love for us, He doesn’t force His love upon us.
Maybe this is where the connection lies. On the same day when this word “expect” rested in my heart, the Gospel was the story of Jesus being shunned in His hometown. Everyone around Him was incredulous at the way He spoke. Jesus then goes on to say, “Prophets are not without honor except in their own hometown and in their own house” (Matthew 13:57).
What I found most compelling about the Gospel was the way that it ended: How Jesus decided to do no miracles or great acts of power in His hometown due to their unbelief. It felt almost petty. I found myself feeling petty for Jesus but also uncomfortable at the thought that He would be petty.
But suddenly the terrain of Jesus’ hometown was the terrain of my heart. Do I have faith that Jesus can work miracles in my life? DoI believe that Jesus is who He says He is, with all power and authority given Him by the Father? Or am I like all the astounded people in the Gospel?
Here again was the invitation. Expect. Just expect.
It’s not a sense of entitlement for God to give me everything I want at the snap of my finger. It’s a profound surrender to His will, trusting that I don’t know the whole story, but everything is done for my good. It’s the great expectation that He’s still in my story — He always has been — and He wants me to be an active participant in it.
In the quiet waiting of August, waiting with buzzing anticipation for September, God is telling me not to watch August pass by simply because it’s usually a season of stillness. If anything, He’s upping the electricity, telling me to wake up and look out for what He’s about to do!
I don’t know what to expect this month. But I can’t wait to share all about it at the end of the month and look ahead with Him at the month to come.
Love being reminded of this! Expect... The way any little girl should expect the best from her Father!